When I tell someone we might try Brainspotting, I usually get one of two reactions. The polite version is a slow nod. The honest version is, "Wait. You want me to stare at a spot?"
Fair question. On paper it sounds like something you'd find between the crystal shop and the juice bar. In practice it's quieter and more grounded than that — and for some people, it gets to things that years of talking have walked politely around.
So here's what it actually is, what a session looks like, and why I sometimes reach for it.
What Brainspotting is
Brainspotting was developed by psychotherapist David Grand in the early 2000s. It grew out of his work with trauma, after he noticed that when clients looked in certain directions while talking about something painful, their bodies reacted — a flicker, a swallow, a sudden stillness.
The core idea is simple: where you look can affect how you feel. You've probably noticed a version of this yourself. People look away when they're searching for a memory. They stare at the floor when something hurts. Brainspotting uses that connection on purpose.
We find an eye position that lines up with what you're feeling, hold it, and pay close attention to what comes up. The goal isn't to analyze your way through something. It's to let your brain and body process what's been stuck, while someone stays right there with you.
What a session actually looks like
It starts the way most sessions do: talking. We pick something to work with — a memory, a reaction that keeps hijacking you, the knot in your stomach every time your father calls.
Then I'll ask you to bring that feeling up and notice where it lives in your body, and roughly how strong it is. From there, I slowly move a pointer across your field of vision (on video, that's me moving it on screen) while you notice where the feeling gets stronger. Sometimes it's an obvious jolt. Sometimes it's a blink, a shift in your breathing, or a "huh, there." Sometimes we look for the opposite instead — a spot where you feel calmer and more settled.
Once we find it, you keep your eyes there. A sticky note on your screen or a small object in the room can hold the place. And then mostly, you notice. Thoughts, images, sensations, memories that seem unrelated and then suddenly aren't. You can tell me what's happening as it happens, or stay quiet and say it afterward.
My job during all of this is to stay closely tuned in to you — tracking what's shifting, checking in, slowing things down if it gets to be too much. It looks less like a technique and more like two people paying very careful attention to the same thing.
What it can feel like
Honestly, it varies. Some people get emotional. Some get unexpectedly tired, or yawny, or warm. Some get a memory they haven't thought about in twenty years and a sudden "oh, that's why I do that." Some feel almost nothing in the moment and notice the difference later in the week, when the thing that usually sets them off just... doesn't, quite as much.
A lot of people say it feels different from regular talk therapy because they stop narrating. You're not building the case or explaining yourself well. You're just noticing. For people who are very good at talking about their feelings — sometimes a little too good — that can be a relief.
It's also normal to feel a bit foggy afterward. We leave time at the end to land, so you're not going straight from deep processing into a work call.
We always decide together whether to try it. If it doesn't feel right for you, that's useful information, not failure.
When I reach for it
Brainspotting isn't something I use with everyone, or in every session. It's one tool — I've completed Phase 1 and Phase 2 Brainspotting training — and I bring it in when it fits. That's often when:
You understand the pattern perfectly and it still runs the show. You can explain exactly why you freeze when your partner raises their voice. Knowing hasn't stopped the freezing.
Something feels stuck in your body more than your thoughts. The chest tightness before a hard conversation. The dread that shows up before you've even named the problem.
There's a painful experience you've already talked about plenty. Telling the story again doesn't seem to touch it anymore.
Words keep getting in the way. Some people intellectualize. Some go blank. Either way, the talking part has hit a ceiling.
We always decide together whether to try it. If it doesn't feel right for you, that's useful information, not failure.
What it isn't
It isn't hypnosis. You're awake, aware, and in charge the whole time. You can stop, look away, or change your mind whenever you want.
It isn't a replacement for the relationship. It works because someone is paying close attention alongside you. That's not a side feature. It's most of the point.
It isn't a magic eye-trick cure. Some sessions are powerful. Some are quieter and do their work slowly. It's a way of helping your system process, not a shortcut around the work.
It isn't EMDR. They're related — Grand was an EMDR therapist first — but Brainspotting doesn't use back-and-forth eye movements. It's built around finding a spot and staying with it.
An honest note on the research
Brainspotting is newer than approaches like CBT, and the research behind it is still early. There are promising studies, but not yet the large body of controlled trials that older therapies have. Some of the explanations you'll see online about exactly what's happening in the brain are theory, not settled science.
I tell you this because I'd rather you hear it from me than find it later and wonder why I didn't mention it. I use Brainspotting because I've seen it help people move things that weren't moving otherwise. I use it alongside other approaches, not instead of them.
So, about that spot
If you've ever said "I know exactly why I do this, I just can't stop," Brainspotting might be worth a conversation. Not because it's mysterious. Because sometimes the part of you that's stuck isn't the part that does the talking.
Curious whether it'd be a fit for you? Learn more about how I work, or book a free 15-minute consultation and ask me anything — including "is this the staring thing?"
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