APPROACHES

Relational Life Therapy (RLT)

RLT is a direct, skills-based approach to couples therapy that helps partners stop fighting the same fight and start reconnecting.

What it is

Relational Life Therapy was developed by therapist Terry Real. It’s built on the idea that most couples’ problems come from patterns each person learned growing up, not from a lack of love. Instead of staying neutral, an RLT therapist is active: naming what’s happening between you, coaching you in the moment, and teaching you how to speak up and repair.

Losing strategies

RLT looks at the strategies we reach for under stress that feel protective and end up hurting the relationship: needing to be right, controlling, lashing out, retaliating, and withdrawing. Seeing your own strategy, without shame, is where change starts.

What a session looks like

Sessions are practical and honest. I might stop you mid-conversation and help you try saying it a different way, or ask what you actually need. You’ll leave with specific skills for raising hard things, setting boundaries, and repairing after a fight.

Who it can help

Couples stuck in repeating arguments, one partner over-functioning while the other pulls away, or relationships where one of you does all the work to make things okay after a fight.

Ready to try it?

Book a free 15-minute consultation to see whether this approach fits what you’re looking for.

Using out-of-network benefits? Check your benefits

  • No. RLT is active, but it isn’t about picking a winner. I’ll be honest with each of you, and I’ll stay focused on what helps the relationship.

  • The Gottman Method is built on research about what makes relationships work, with structured assessment and exercises. RLT is more in the moment and coaching-oriented, with a focus on how each person’s history shows up in the relationship. I draw on both.

  • It was designed for couples, and its ideas are also useful in individual work on relationship patterns.

  • Yes. Couples sessions are held by secure video, and many couples find it easier to have hard conversations from home.