APPROACHES

Internal Family Systems (IFS)

IFS is a therapy model built on the idea that your mind has different parts, and that none of them are the problem.

What it is

IFS was developed by Dr. Richard Schwartz, a family therapist who noticed that clients kept describing their inner experience as a group of voices: the part that wants to leave and the part that stays, the critic and the one being criticized. Instead of treating these as symptoms, IFS treats them as parts of you, each trying to help in the only way it knows how. Underneath them is your Self, the calm, curious core of you that’s still there no matter what you’ve been through.

The parts

Protectors work hard to keep you safe. Some manage your life through perfectionism, people-pleasing, and over-functioning. Others step in when you’re overwhelmed, through numbing, avoiding, snapping, or shutting down. Exiles carry the pain, shame, and fear from earlier experiences, and your protectors work to keep them out of sight.

What a session looks like

We get curious about a part instead of trying to get rid of it. What does it want for you? What is it afraid would happen if it stopped? When parts feel understood, they tend to relax their grip, and the hurt they’ve been guarding can finally be heard and healed.

Who it can help

People come to IFS for trauma, anxiety, perfectionism, people-pleasing, harsh self-criticism, and the feeling of being at war with yourself. Many find it a gentler way into trauma work, because you’re never asked to push past a part that isn’t ready.

Ready to try it?

Book a free 15-minute consultation to see whether this approach fits what you’re looking for.

Using out-of-network benefits? Check your benefits

  • No. Everyone has an inner world with competing wants, like the part of you that wants to rest and the part that says you should be doing more. IFS gives you a way to talk about that, and you can use whatever language fits.

  • No. Having parts is a normal feature of how every mind works, not a disorder. IFS gives you a way to relate to your parts with more understanding.

  • CBT focuses on changing thoughts and behaviors. IFS focuses on building a relationship with the parts of you behind them. The two can work side by side.

  • Yes. It works well over video, since most of the work is conversation and inner attention.